It's Time

ya Allah. Me n my plans!

28 in 2008. ada ong ka? hehe.according to one of my DA frens, in Chinese Horoscope, Monkey ppl will hv a rocky year this yr. ahahaha...
i dun care! im a rebellious horoscope reader. teehee.
tht means, im kicking the negative ones out, by turning it 360 degrees, or jst lmao.

my bdy was on the 18th. 18th. 28 yrs old. 2008.
beautiful March - coz its raining season in KL.
n oh how i LOVE rain.
i really do.
we Malaysians, can never have tht perfect wintery Sotto voce conversation with ourself.
or open the enveloping secrets and excitements of Autumn n Spring .

My beautiful plans. In this rainy season, races of flashes crashed in my mind.
I am happy as i can be.

With all my heart, I thank you all.
My long lost friends, close ones, cyber friends, and for sure loved ones.
For the thought n best wishes.
Tq WYNN for a blog entry for me. XX.
Tq NINA for singing the bdy song in sms from far away in Aberdeen.
TQ SYAHIDA for emailing me from Spore.For never forgetting me after 6mnhts in Astronomy together.
Tq ZUE for the lovely thought of spending the time wit me.

Bdy isnt a big deal like when im young. Since i hvnt really celebrate this day wit family, (4 years). This yr is different.
Y? coz my dearie nephew Apiq (3years old), all dressed up at home excited to come n see me on my bdy. awww...how can i say no to tht?
To my mum, who ordered special delivery of food frm Kuantan.
She made Steamboat for the bdy menu. (terharu)
My dad who managed to do spend time wit me, (b4 Golf of course..haha..) still, i love the time we had.
My relatives.
Especially, my Sister. Such a sweetheart. She is the mastermind behind the Big Gift.
My parents and her, bought me....my dream helper.
CANON EOS40D.
i never guess. which is y i didnt update this blog.
i jst dunno how to write this.
My bro went all the way too. He bought me a Lifecam for my pc. something he never did.

So 28 became something more.
With all the plans i do hv right now..more is inevitable.
the key is to work it out.
and i'll always feel blessed, even some things don't work out.
Hikmah learned.

So life up until now, hv been full of risings and downfalls.
My basket is overloaded.
I could hv written one complete book of my life.
Its time for a new basket. New beginnings.
Its time to really grow up.
and im glad to be. :)

Love with fresh eyes,
~ someone who managed to be true to the truth~

Sunburst Burst More than Incubus

yeah.did this.

surprisingly, Incognito got me excited first and in the mood for music. Positive, fun, pop, funky songs certainly one of the highlights for me tht night. My tenses, and negativity vibe, slowly went away as i dance away.Enjoying myself wit the crowd.

Sunburst started at 2pm, but i went there around 9pm.
Although, Incubus was the main reason im there, seeing John Legend singing Save Room was priceless too! I bet the girl who got picked personally by Mr.Legend, to slow dance wit him on stage cant sleep!hahaha...n..her name was Nisha!!! erk.

Then there was the graffiti thing, fire thing, wall thing, and Incubus rare song list.
Aqueous Transmission was the last song. Perfect.
My fav tht night, definitely wld be : Quicksand, Anna Molly, Warmth, Talk Shows of Mute.

Little extra when the crowd sang Happy Birthday to Ben. :)

Incubus ended nearly 2am and it was awesome. Money well spent.
Best of all, i met Loth! my long lost high school buddy! cool! as usual she had her "The Secrets" Tee on. (the exact tee like Brandon's)..hehe.

for more BUZZ on Incubus tht night, click this ->INCUBUS ONLINE VIEW

ere's shots of tht night.

since my vids tht nite is so few..so i wont upload it.hehe.

so next in line...Brandi Carlile! she'll be in OZ end of March and no tickets will fall from the sky for tht one.huhu..SO, next year or end of this year then. :)

XX
~someone who needs loads of hug at the moment~

Selfless Nanny McPhee

me n my bestie talked the all common issues of our life.
and the topic, Selfish came up.
n yes, i heard this many times, and am aware of the rational reason behind it.

that being selfish in certain cases is needed, even if we dont want to be.
in circumstances where, cruel to be kind i guess, kindness benefiting ourself.
in a way, it teaches other people around us to practice their self efficiency.
too much help, can teach us to learn to be weak. even though in my opinion, we all are not.

on the other hand, with the world as it is today, helping hands and hearts, are crucially needed.
self confidence and self esteem can easily be mistaken as selfish.
even confusing the possessor of this positive attitude.
coz sometimes, i see ppl get lost in showing how strong and self worthy ones are,
that they tend to see others as, lesser.

i jst watched Nanny McPhee for the 1st time, and i am caught in the genius literature,
and how genuine the story is.

Nanny McPhee incredible charisma
"There is something you should understand about the way I work.
When you need me but do not want me, then I must stay.
When you want me but no longer need me, then I have to go.
It's rather sad, really, but there it is."

I didnt get the 'sad line' part, until the end when she walked away in a content, accomplished, charismatic manner surrounded by snow which contradicts her black attire.
A little symbolism there.
But most importantly, she walk away full of Love, at the place she left behind, in that walking moment, and certainly-future.

The End, leaves me, reassuring myself, that selfless is beautiful and complete, when it is simply appreciated and nothing more.
Appreciation is the simplest thing in the world really.

I do know that we all experienced or soon will, that selfish in terms of situation is ok.
But I applaud and thanking, who could be more.

Who in my opinion, must be a magical creature or some kind.
A Nanny McPhee.

that with Nanny McPhee-ses,
LIFE is Beautiful-ler.

jealous of OZ

if my plan to be in Adelaide this yr has not been postponed,
than i could have go and see Brandi Carlile LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yup.i did put her up in my blog ere last time,but its her music.
It's like magnet.
keeps bringing u in. amazing.
i didnt really dig her infos or bios etc.
jst for the sake of her music, is enuff for me.
but today,for the 1st time,i checked her bandout in youtube.
the usual,radio appearances,interviews,tour vids, tht sort of stuff.

she's real,cool and humble and freakin awesome Live!
and yeah,i agree her smile actually lights a room.
she didnt believe in the whole follow ur heart and chase ur dream thing.
for her, what works, is the key.
she said tht the point of making music is to tour.to get as many humans attached to her music.
and tht is all.
she never even heard of the show Grey's Anatomy when her breakthrough to mainstream happens due to her single used in it.the band was bz touring.
afterwards, was when she knew tht the show also make a base for unheard artists.
only then,she got her Tivo, and did wat we all do. Series Marathon.

All of these lines across my face

Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you

I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
Yeah you do and I was made for you

You see the smile that's on my mouth
Is hiding the words that don't come out
And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what I've been through like you do
And I was made for you...

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you
Oh yeah, it's true... I was made for you

p.s : i had a gr8 day yesterday! *wink*

Sunny Inside Me

got my tix!!! how abt u?
Incubus oh Incubus.
they love March around ere do they. my bdy month.
this bring back memories of my 1st ever Incubus Concert in Wellington, NZ - March 2004.
hmmm....still yummy. :)

i checked out John Legend songs. I do notice him. Never really care.
but now, SAVE ROOM, is one of my fav song now.
i listen to it, like 20 times in a row. damn good music.
have a go listening to him...you won't be disappointed.

~"pagi yang gelap, kini sudah terang...." Pagi Yang Gelap, HUJAN~

hah!March!

its March! it hit me..when i jst got my "bday card" ? frm JJ jst now.
cool coupons! Baskin Robbin, GSC, and what i really need, a discount for eye treatment!heck yeah!hehe..but 18 is still a long way.shooh shooh! haha.

i didnt mention earlier abt the minor surgery i had last Wed.
i got heel spurs.not sure the exact term is, coz i went to a really special surgeon. he studied both, the whole practitioner thing and he spent years in Indonesia and China to study traditional meds.
He's been around more than 6-10 yrs now.
And his patients is so multi-racial.
The day i had my surgery, there were 2 breast cancer chinese patient, 1 brain tumor indian patient, a malay woman with a nerve malfunction - surgery next to her left eye!
golden age ppl, and the normal diabetic,high blood pressure, heart problem, patients.
This doctor is like their last hope.

so yeah,i went through my 1st surgery.
it was painful but quick.no stitches.15mins after,i can walk but i had to rest or it will get swollen.
but it was worse when, the day after, i had a shivering fever.sigh.

now im much better,& i can't wait to start doing my things again. ;)
i'm ready.

"when i wake in the morning,i want to blow into pieces, i want more than just ok...."~MORE THAN FINE, SWITCHFOOT~

dear Horoscope

Predictions.

And here I am, choosing which Today's Horoscope that I'm gonna use to my advantage, happy and like about, or even a little proud.
muahahahahaha...

Look! Read! Here's what I had pick. (from Friendster's Horoscope)

The Bottom Line

Today, when you know you're right, you're right. Intellectual impulses are good.

In Detail

Today, when you know you're right, you're right! Your intellect is strong and focused right now, and it's going to give you a sixth sense about who's telling the truth, who's trying to hide the truth, and who is afraid of the truth! This type of knowledge could be a dangerous thing in the hands of lesser beings. But a superstar like you knows how to use your powers for good, not evil. You'll finally have the opportunity you've been waiting for to introduce two like-minded people.

there...silence. it made it sound so Heroic! doesnt it?haha.."powers for good,not evil". uuuu...

n yeah...everyone in the planet knows that Pisces = The Dreamer

but does everyone knows that this Piscesean is a Fighter?
which means, Im fighting my way for Concrete.

hehe.
xx a.k.a muah muah

currently singing to the song "Human" by Jon McLaughlin.
miss listening to it..
"afterall....we're only human...hurt instead of healing...."

Talking..im tired.

the thing about people speaking up is that...when many talks all it gives is noise.
i personally didn't truly believe that speaking up is needed more.
i do think listeners are way underrated.

we have eyes so we can see which perhaps can be helped with the words to explain.
but if we can be a true listener, then we can see, acknowledge to the extent that we do not need words to realize something.
an expression, body language, a vibe or aura or whatever the heck our 6th sense catch up...is the key.

we all have voices inside.some screams to be let out.
then again.should it?
words is a powerful tool. which means, speaking up about everything...even little annoying things are wasteful.

again,i adore people who speaks the truth.
i adore people who fight for something real.
but i only adore those who do it, after they listened to more than what's being meant to say.
a compact speaker with many stories to back em up.

so hence my thoughts that listeners should be praised.
that i do see you, everyday.

Rocked Out : Switchfoot in KL

i had a full Pre-SF day, with my lovely sis.
then met few friends for drinks.
Picked up Lya tht night too to spend the night at my home.

So 2nd Feb arrived, and somehow im nervous. heh.
So 4.30pm, we arrived at KL Convention Centre we're already at the back of the line.
my bestfren Zue, came at 6.30 and didnt believe the line is this long.cheh!
we got in...and proceed to the left stage, just below the waiting room.

2 bands instead of 1 played opening,with 4 songs each.
Love Me Butch wasnt that bad after all :)

Lovely moment no 1 :
i glanced up towards the big window of the waiting room, and i saw half of Chad's body!haha...
he was checking us out down ere.
I show him the peace sign!
and he replied back!!!
nice :)

Then, history took its steps.
Switchfoot came on stage. and...screeeeaaaaammmmssss....
I knew they're gonna be playing Oh!Gravity and Stars as the 1st two songs..so i ignore my cam and rocked myself out!
awesome 1st rush n im ready for more.

then came more of my fav tunes
This is Your Life, Gone, Politicians, Learning to Breathe, Dirty Second Hands, Only Hope, Meant to Live, Shadow Proves the Sunshine,We're Awakening
and specials of
My 'Malaysian' Dream
a lil Ella Ella Ella of Umbrella
+ a lil Beyonce
here are LINKS LINKS LINKS to my fav vids tht night :)
GONE
Jon say Hi to a fan cam+THIS IS YOUR LIFE+UMBRELLA+BEYONCE
ON FIRE

i sang along, jumped though my feet is killing me, hug everyone next to me, and enjoyed the music.
Jon was awesome, Chad was incredible,i couldnt fully appreciate Tim and Drew since they're almost out of my sight. But i was standing near the stage, near Jerome,who's amazing n looking humble all the way..now how did he do tht?hehe..

Lovely moment no 2 :
Then Jon came to the left during ON FIRE and beginning of AWAKENING, hopped on the crowd, and he's almost above me! He sang with us, holding on to few ppl for balance, even borrowed a camera from someone from the crowd,took a picture and gave it back. :)
I didnt take out my cam, i took in Jon's damn near view, ignoring the fact that im crammed by screaming ppl!hahaha..

i found the exact moment vid frm youtube, here's the link :
AWAKENING ON MY CROWD!!!
The crowd is hype all the way till the end.
Now and then, Jon gave out his heart words, phrases by phrases.
Now and then, i keep trying to capture Jon's attention to my Heart Shaped of my Fingers.
haha...with all the Big Signs these kids bring with???

Lovely moment no 3 :
but then during one of the last Jon's phrase, he was looking at my direction, and said the word "Hearts".dont remember exactly whats been said (due to the screamings)
i was stunned and immensely satisfied! :)

moving on to the encore is of course 'I Dare You To Move' :) check out the vid i took!
its shaky i know!but the audio is gr8 :)


After show, it was one of the best feeling to let my feet relax.
The autograph session is on, i couldnt bare myself to stand in line.
So snaps from the bar is enough.

So here's few of the shots i managed to take.(the rest is in my Picasaweb album)
Please note that i sacrificed taking more n better pictures, coz all i ever wanted to do there is to rock myself out!
and i did :)

Mellow Jon

Jon Foreman


Jon's killing it


in 'I Heart KL' Tee


Chad & Drew

and these are shots taken by ZUE

"freeze!!!"

autograph session, now i can see TIM!!!

there's loads of vids on this night in YouTube. go n hv a look & hv fun!

but they didnt play the song "24" :(

Soul Fashion Seeker's Mumbling

i was restless all day.
i felt desperate for space to breathe the fire out of me.
i realize 30 mins ago that i simply need to write.

thoughts occur to me these past few days.
having everything is great of course but it should teach us the meaning of lost.
i say it should coz i had seen people.

that we put love not on people but love itself.
we make love as exclusive as possible to parade to the world how glorious it is to have it.
and to be in love is enough to justify any means.
and that love is bound to follow certain class.
and that love isn't border less.

i learned the bigger ways to love.
to love the people..not owning the love itself.
in some ways,i grew to be one who have so much love inside me, that it keeps growing as i cared less of myself.
only then i truly see how much i love myself even more.

it's not the clothes i wear, nor the makeup i fixed upon my face.
it is not the knowledge that i seek for myself.
it is not the dreams i wish every night.
it is not the things i wanted to buy.
it is not about seeing myself smiling in the mirror and look happy.

it's about affecting change to others.
it's about us standing together in balance.
that we are equally free within our forms, body & soul to be exactly, ourself.
that we need not hide from the world.
that we should never ever need to ask for anything.

when all we are...are givers.
and everybody wins.
cause we never ever have to be unsatisfied.
imagine...

so the more i care for the people around me, i found myself.
that i am capable of so much more than just loving myself,family and friends.
can u say that for yourself?
can u say that you are a hero in your own way coz you own this massive capability to affect change?
i believe u can.
if you're selfless.
can u?

future holds this simple fact that materialization had somehow blur the image of basic human touch.
we put up walls around us all the time.
cause people could not be trusted.
i think it is because we cant handle the negativity.
we are weak.
imagine..
if all the bad things thrown at you, you find a way to accept it and turn it around.
that you managed to fix everything,
not because you need it but because you want to change the thrower.
you grew wiser and more.

its damn hard i know to put up a smile in front of misery.
its human nature to feel sad at times.
i just think that the world have its fair share of tragedy and disaster.
we dont need the people to do the same as well, no matter how bad life maybe.

tq for reading,
~the perfect soul fashion seeker~

Here's to the Real Night

i just like to dedicate this song to everyone in this planet.

To those who are like me,wishing at night that the stars will always show itself.
That i wish, that we all will feel grateful every night.
That the dark of the night is lighten everyday by what you did when the sun comes up.
No matter how little or simple, big task you full filled, people you annoyed and smiled at, at angry times you had and mistakes you've made.
That despite it all, i wish you still have your heart sings.
Cause sometimes, choices arent picked, choices are made for us.
Like the day we will die.
Like the person we will marry.
Like the day we are born.
Still, enjoy every night.Cause you breathed that day before tonight.
And the breathing part is always real.

~loads of love :)

So denied, so I lied
Are you the now or never kind?
In a day and a day love
I'm gonna be gone for good again

Are you willing to be had?
Are you cool with just tonight?
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye tomorrow's gonna come too soon

Put your name on the line
Along with place and time
Want to stay, not to go, I want to ditch the logical
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye tomorrow's gonna come too soon

All my time is froze in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more
Don't let me let you go

Don't let me let you go

Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye, tomorrow's gonna come too soon
Too soon
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye tomorrow's gonna come too soon

Song : Here's to the Night
Band : EVE 6

Improvement Pt 2 : Myself

a.k.a Changing Life Lane.

FIRST A SONG TO SHARE!(coz this time my babbling is soo long!)

***************

Here's to the Night
by EVE 6

So denied so I lied are you the now or never kind
In a day and a day love I'm gonna be gone for good again
Are you willing to be had are you cool with just tonight
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

c/0
Here's to the nights we felt alive

Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry Here's to goodbye Tomorrow's gonna come too soon Put your name on the line along with place and time Wanna stay not to go I wanna ditch the logical Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well All my time is froze in motion Can't I stay an hour or two or more Don't let me let you go Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
EVE 6 WEBSITE HERE

*********************

this weekend has past. My parents arrived safely home yesterday evening frm Spore n im so glad i cooked. coz my dad ate like its the most delicious meal in the world! and tht made me smile :)

i might have mention about Bags in Spore, and apparently my mum bought one for me!!!
i specifically told her not to, if we can buy it here. But she bought them anyway and its a pair - a grunge bag + its matching purse. Even i never get a matching pair ever.haha...its wonderful!
its the latest Guess bag with silver black n silver strand and gorgeous satin silk inside.
smile :)

right after dinner, the ladies in this house went out to Tesco Ampang. n again my mum, bought me n my sisters jewellery + clothes!
I totally love the bracelet i got.
I asked the seller what kind of stone is it?
I didnt really care actually..but as soon as i tried it..it felt cooler on my wrist.Weirdly,felt a lil calmer.So i ask without much thought.
She told me its made from Cat's Eye Stone which is less harder than Jade.
Oooohhh....(no idea)

I googled it jst now.
Apparently Cat's Eye Stone is some kind of a healer stone, used for health of the mind not body which sometime leads to heatlhy, wealthy and good luck. And harmful if used unwisely.
HUH?...........the magical healing power of stones.?.
something i so don't know anything about but has been used in medically practice for since ancient time.

I saw on E! once, that celebrities that are involved during Oscar night, will be given each a luxurious room 2 weeks before the event to "prepare". And it includes Diamond Healing!
The diamond is so expensive that it has one of the highest quality of aura healing.
Hah! anything for beauty huh?!

interesting but i dont really care much really.
but if you do, here's a link http://www.orissagems.com/cats_eye.htm
i do love my bracelet though. :)

moving along...tooooooooooo EBAY MALAYSIA.
its ok i think. i registered and bought a set of Buffy Season 8 comics and (i think) a fake Anya "I'm Not A Plastic Bag" grocery bag.
READ THIS LINK : BAG SNOB

After researching, apparently bag addicts are real. They have websites n everything. I read a guideline from an Ebay er, about how to spot a fake Anya grocery bag.
Mine was almost perfect except the rope on the strand.
It's insane really that such a good idea is now delivered in a materialistic way.
Why make a statement when the action (which in this case..wearing a designer bag to parade its genuine thought) is controlled. High-price.US$45-US$200.Limited bags are made. Pre-orders. Limited purchase each person.
Which in the end, leads to....imitations.
And caused more trouble. Negative ones when the ebay sellers lied and sell fake with authentic price.
What's more sad, is that wearing fake is considered a crime contributor.
It lower the users standard as no genuine fashion sense, n no respect of the ownership of the maker.

If it does, does that mean owning a print poster of paintings of Da Vinci's, is low taste of art?
No respect?
If a painting can be reproduce.
Why cant a bag?
It all came down to Money and the idea of Materialism and its Rules.doesnt it?
If u hate fake...make more.coz dhuh! a bag can be reproduce many times and still have the same quality.
A painting with the exact quality?Are u insane?
Perhaps in this case, limitations create that pure, divine aura...?

What i could see is this particular bag is like a billboard sign.
Few here and there to be seen and read.
So i understand the reason behind it.
It's a gr8 idea.
So people we don't need Anya's bag to support this.
but since Anya's also doing it as in a fashion sense way, it becomes that.
Fashion.
Which is art but also leads to Materialism.
In artistic point of view, she achieved the genius use of Material to express positivity.
Kudos.

Last weekend is a good one.
Im glad.
More packing to do now.
Till i have more enthusiasm to write...

~ positive thinker.

Home Improvement Part 1

got my copy of Jan FEMALE magz nxt to me now- unopen.
my face screams for attention - a facial appointment will be in order soon.
my Nineteen Minutes book by Jodi Picoult - is currently marked on page 42 with the used Peter Pan Muscial tickets since...erm..lets see....a week!
and i bought a mic for my PC.

so far,my study plans is in motion but its as slow as my dying passion.*sigh*
its been hectic these past 2 weeks.
a new niece! n finally her name is now Daniala Isabella.
my charming nephew name is Danial Irfan.
(oh i miss him).

Irfan left me with GERMS!again..i took care of him for a week while my sis in law is resting after the labour. as usual, its a delicate time for her,so she needs to be taken care of.
while she's at her home in ampang, im ere at home, with irfan.
thank goodness, he can sleep with me,listens to me, played wit me..n most importantly, he's been an angel.
except the germs part.which is actually the maid's fault. she got sick (dunno where she got it from)..and passed it to irfan....nnnnnnnn...then me.
its not a surprise actually..cause since last year..the only time i was sick was when irfan got sick first.

besides being the best aunt in the world!hahaha...ive been bz home planning and designing.
so many renovations in the list,from rooms,kitchen,landscaping and refurbishing the wall parts,incl a swimming pool (this idea totally came to me after i visited Mukh's hse in Taman Enstek).its fun except that it all needed to be done by end of this month!!!

and yet here i am blogging.actually,fun time is filled with facebook-ing.
coz reading is tiring,drawing is hard coz im inspiration-less at the moment,tv is boring,and shopping is time consuming.

managed to watched Grey's yesterday.MY GOD! Seth Green's bursting blood all over the place!!!waaaa.....shocked.didnt see tht coming.hahaha..
cant wait for Smallville n Supernatural's latest.huhu..

i...........'ll stop ere.
what song to share today...hmmm..hmm....nope..cant think of one.

Time Chaser,
~ one who needed a fabulous time with herself.

ps : ive been recording my singing....wakakaka...it sounds...erm...not like me?!?#@!??

More than Fine! oh yeah.

im going to Switchfoot concert this Feb 2nd!yes!one of my fav band.how lucky am i?so thts one thing to look forward too. so now ive been filling up my system with Switchfoot. though i dont call myself the 'FootSoldiers'.haha...

i want to dedicate to all this blog readers...
i hope they will play this Live.
the song 'More Than Fine'
Album : the Beautiful Letdown (2003) - which i think is the best album :)

hv fun ppl & keep up looking towards the sun though it hurts a bit :)

here's 2 version , the album version + the video (studio session)

When I wake in the morning, I want to blow into pieces.

I want more than just ok, more than just ok.
When I'm up with the sunrise I want more than just blue skies.
I want more than just ok, more than just ok.

I'm not giving up, giving up, not giving up now.
I'm not giving up, giving up, not backing down.

More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.

When I'm lit with the sunrise. I want more than just a good time.
I want more than just ok, more than just ok. I

'm not giving up, giving up, not giving up now.
I'm not giving up, giving up, not selling out.

More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.
More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.

More than oceans away from the dawn.
More than oceans away from the dawn.
More than oceans away from who we are
More than oceans, more than oceans, yeah.

More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.
More than fine, more than bent on getting by.
More than fine, more than just ok.

The End of Harry : The Deathly Hollows

it matter so little that i knew beforehand,although accidently, that Harry Potter married Ginny Weasley in the last book of Rowling.

I finished it in two days.In fact,just read the last sentence for the first time, "All was well.", 5 minutes ago.

I felt like i had grown with Harry through his course of life as the Boy Who Lived, and Chosen.

But i dont want to express thoughts on all,just the last book.

I found it that i finally understands Harry's world as merely the courage of a person to live. Which he extraordinary managed to keep doing without fail since young age.Most teenagers in reality,chose the easy way out.Taking path that promises nothing good.That lead the pain,become the excuse to simply stop trying to live better.

Deathly Hollows,although,excruciating full of pains and suffering,i could only understand little how to lose someone we love to death.That even though, it seems after a number of deaths, its unbearable, but honestly made life full of meaning. That the love ones that still alive,that we who is well n alive, are the ones, still in need to live.

I felt at times i wanted to throw the book on the wall.At times,i felt like my heart wanted to scream so much but when its ready to explode,the world fall flat.Frustrating indeed.And by the end,its perfectly clear,that humans are capable to live for love.
Love that embodied such bigger meaning than our own gain.
At the same time,it is our right to have it,to feel it,to find it.

Friends,families,even in enemies,lies the grey.
That with love, lights can flick even in the darkest heart.
what tested us,is the thing we choose to love.

Love of powers over others?
Self-love by comparing others as less equal?
Love towards pain?Love towards courage?
or Love for one another?

In more matured perspective,life is full of love.
As far as im concern,it lives in me.
As strong as this is, i think i can somehow manage to step forward.
Cause,after everything, Allah had promised the eternity life for those who fight for Allah's way,
that "All was well", in the end.

What a revelation!

Miss Brandi Carlile and her stories to tell

infectious.the perfect word for her.
Bought her new Album few months ago from a music store in OU,
but it took me lil weeks after tht to really enjoy it.
After i did go through it,track by track,i get the flow.
Its really quite amazing.

The album called 'The Story'.And its about life and living for it.
And i love how the album starts wit the song, Late Morning Lullaby.
Though, her 1st Single release is track 2, The Story.

lyrical wise like,
"with weight upon my chest and ghost upon my back"-Late Morning Lullaby,#1.
"all of these lines across my face,tell you the story of who i am"-The Story,#2.
"if you only knew my mind is full of razors"-My Song,#4.
"we go to waste like wine,they turn to Turpentine"-Turpentine,#3.
"i have seen your 9 to 5,wash away your dream" - Until I Die,#10.
she gets me thinking which is exactly what i prefer.^_^

melody wise, its really something that get you humming without realizing it afterwards.
it happens to me :)

band info,she and these twin brothers,they're gr8.i dont know how they played live sounds,but in Nov 2007,they did play in Australia.shoot.missed tht.oh well.

Actually,she previously have songs in TV series Grey's Anatomy, 'What Can I Say' and in the movie Sisterhood Travelling Pants, 'Closer to You'.(where i discovered her).
and im delighted tht i decided to check her out.
click here to her Website

xx nysh~
oh btw, HAPPY 2008!!!

The Reason

The Reason behind this Song Blog.
Is it really just about a good song to recommend?
Well,firstly of course it is.
But i would like to share thoughts on this.
I havent updated lately.Been busy troubling myself wit endless troubles.
Anyway,here it goes.

Some people wrote thoughts on current issues, so that ignorance from some of us can be shake off.
To let us know, that they care and they think more than others.
That they aren't simply floating this earth in a self-centered way.
That our feelings and troubles mattered less than reality of everyday life.

And this is why lyrics/songs come to play.

To me, its a Tool to release the burdening inner quarrel.
It can then clear up the way for Reality.

Denying the need of humans to remain where they are comfortable, is wrong.
Then again, it is fate that even in the calmest weather, disaster awaits its turn and the cycle continues-never ending.
Of course there's an ending. After life-the eternity.

It boils down to one endless fight-keep reaching for the comfort zone.
Every time you win, you have greater capability& experience to show others the way.
And Allah will keep sending new test.And again we fight and learn,then teach.

It is when we stop reaching for comfort zone and stop teaching, that the world keeps becoming impossible to live in.

So songs are just one of the tiny way I saw that can help us reach that comfort zone.
Coz its human made.Human stories and fights.Things we can relate to.
Presented in a simpler - indirect way.
Its jst a tiny tiny thing that brighten the heart and opening up the mind.

So keep washing the inwards thoughts away..and look around!

A Short Notice: NADAL vs GASQUET Shah Alam tickets for SALE!!!

putting this ad up for a short while (for googlers to have an easy googling)

Nadal vs Gasquet Stadium Malawati Shah Alam
Tickets for sale, selling tickets.

2 Tickets for NADAL vs GASQUET at Stadium Malawati,Shah Alam.
NOV 20,2007.

seat EAST M70,71.
price rm88.

interested?contact : silverhead8@yahoo.com

reason of selling? coz my bro had to give it up,due to more urgent occasion. :p
but i'll b going though :)
dun worry,i am frequently online today n 2moro to check up.

cheers!

made (taken from Myspace blog)

13.11.07
11.40pm
some say..it is the life that makes a person.
~ like the land we live,the culture we follow.

some believe..its really up to the ones to make a difference.
~like the struggle to learn,to protest against.

some hoped..that others who care for them to turn things around when they could not.
~like sick n dying people,less privileged.

how do we make ourself - is it really entirely up to us?
or is it the duty of everyone around us to beat the life into us?

i know that it is really the question of balance of both.
but when we are thrown into a situation where we know no one can help us, or that the people around us does not want to change for better.

what then?
do we stand and shine in the middle while we are surrounded by mud-people.
do we dug deep, try not to mind the dirt of others, just to help them clean.
or really we are too,sinking, in different boat.

i try not to care so much of what life throws at me.
coz when i do, its unbearable at times.
so i try to stand aside, but it made me selfish.
to try n stand in the middle, eventually i get stuck.

the simplest answer to this is to get a New Life.
and that my friend is possible, if u have the guts and no heart to throw everything and everyone away for good.
can u?

so this is what i make out of this moment.
to laugh and cry when i could.
to be brave n scared when i could.
to love n hate when i could.

coz whenever i could do all these i can see what i am made of
a human who will never stop questioning.
and tht is a sign that i am not superior. Allah is.

Listening to : HP Order of the Phoenix Soundtrack

going in circles-hope

7.11.07
2.17am

2:17 AM - going in circles-hope

y do we stand up and keep on fighting?
y do some of us did not get up at all after a fall?

there is one certainty about these 2 situation.
one reason to y it happen.

Hope.

cause we hope,even in secret that things will get better.
someday,somehow, we hope it will be.
especially the ones, who did not get up.
they are the ones who hope harder than the rest.

just because the action isnt there yet, hope is there whether they realize it or Not.

if Hope sparks, keep burning it up.
soon, you'll find out y.

Listening to : How to Save A Life by the Fray

i love change

5.11.07
8.51pm
i admit..i cant stand my life staying the same too long.
i love changes.
and challenges that comes with it,before it and even while at it.
but not after it.

i still need a pause,between the next change, to breathe,to feel and to savour EVERY SINGLE THING.

i may have big pauses, its just because i have big changes.

now tht i am here at this edge of changing again,i feel so blessed and gratefully happy.this pause moment im having now,im taking in as much drops as i can.

n not to be mistaken.I HATE DRAMA.especially the drama that is worth to erase all together.

there's bigger Drama in Life,and that is the war inside us.
May i always be on the right path even if i slipped, ill be back on it again,
as i always have

Listening to : Duncan Sheik by Duncan Sheik

Faith with Faith Hill's Paris

**check out some pics at my deviantart site! :)**

Faith is Freedom.
cause with Faith we Berserah to yang Maha Esa.
and that is what we do to find a bit of peace from the war within our heart.
to break free from questioning why things happen.

quote from my uncle
"we are merely playing/acting our parts for the storyline that Allah already written to us. Our hearts has 2 sides, in constant war. If Allah wants to close our heart, not even Muhamad can open it. It it wants it to open,then no one can close it. So don't question why things happen. Berserah. cause only Allah knows best."

~only Allah knows best. ~ with this thought, my worries almost disappear.

with Raya Mood and Mode almost come to an end, i figure to write stuff like the above is sort of related. so yeah. hope my faith and yours grow stronger from today.

I love Faith Hill. I totally love her album Fireflies. kinda shocked me tht i never put it in here.
although,it reminded me of my first car breaking last year,where the thieves stole my dad's car stereo with Fireflies album in it!!!!!and last week i look for it in store but cldnt find it.

its a great album.you can always play it as years pass by.
the lyrics are so beautifully written.
and her voice is soothing.

so here's the last song in the album called "Paris"

The train pulled into Paris like a rocket to the moon
The station's like a circus every face is a cartoon
Everybody's stoned on pride and drunk on cheap champagne
Tonight this joie de vivre sure don't live up to its name
And now all that i can say
c/o
Is i'd give this world to you
Every rock and every stone every masterpiece in Rome
And if you asked me to I'd steel the Mona Lisa, tear it up in little pieces
And lay them at your feet
For all the world to see
But tonight i can't give you Paris

Aristocrats are everywhere And the air's as thick as thieves
She'd like nothing better than to steal the breathe from me
The tower's lights ain't shinin' as it hangs its head in shame
At the sight of American blood on the streets of st. Germain
Washin' up into the seine

And i'd give this world to you
I'd steal the crown and kingdom from the Queen of England
And if you asked me to I'd take this city in my hands,
break it down in grains of sand
And lay them at your feet
For all the world to see
But tonight i can't give you Paris

love,
nysh

Real Raya Love (taken from Myspace blog)

29.10.07
1.53am
refer the previous post..'RAYA LOVE'
i had just tht. Happy Moments.
get the chance to meet a close fren of mine frm UK after 3 yrs was gr8!she was exactly the same as always.My friend.
Rounding up close friends wit Mufid,Tinie,Fiza & Yea was precious.
so yeah.Raya Love!

BUT

there's another kind of Raya Love.
2nite,i went to my aunt's fren's hse arnd ere,with my uncle n my mum.
2nite was cool,breezy wit little rain.just the way i like it.

nway,afterwards,we come back me n my uncle started to talk about my sick brother about Allah and the purpose of all the pain n uncontrollable situation we are pressured under.

His answers was Allah's answers.That Allah knows best of everything.
That its already written.That my heart is divided into 2.And once the heart says so.Your body follows.Cause its fate.
So Adelaide was one of my fate.Cause it was in my heart.It spoke.
So i follow.Eventhough,1000 things i worried,and giving myself 1000 reasons why i maybe shouldnt go and fight my heart.

He told me.If Allah fate u r going to Adelaide.It will happen.
So the conclusion is, BERSERAH.

so thts my word i will be thinking deeper from 2dy until i can really grasp the true meaning.which is to feel it..not just know the word.

so..now..i am going to BERSERAH.
cause i am so yakin than ever before,my heart to Adelaide is at the right place.
the rest, is Allah's fate for me.
im just playing my role of the story Allah sets for me.

So Berserah and dont worry,cause if we Truly Believe That Allah's Greatness is Beyond Logic.
Who am I to ponder?

p.s:i cried while listening to my uncle.it was another kind of Raya Love i really really truly bersyukur i had it.

Listening to : Keep on Rising by Bent Fabric

Raya Love (taken from Myspace blog)

25.10.07
6.03pm
did i mention that i really like this blog.
main reason is bcoz, i pick the background myself from Smallville Season 6,which scene? i wouldnt tell ya.
so i will frequently be checking myspace.

this Raya Celebration atmosphere that is going on, its nice to join in once in a while eventhough there are more important things that needs attention.
I am one who like the idea of Raya cause its like a perfect excuse to run away for a while and see my good friends that i havent seen for so long.
More so to hug them and have a chat with them to catch up a little.
Cause honestly, life does not always open doors and give time for us to do this.
So a casual catch up is more than a bless.
Its something that put a smile back in.

So yeah, i urge if u have the chance to do so.Do it. Even if you meet these friends once a year. But it could give you more than you expect.
It can make some people happy and you are one of them.

Happy moments are a series of short happenings.

And i would love to have these filled my time.

Reading : Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

dingin di puasa 6 (taken from Myspace blog)

24.10.07
4:16pm
pain. we all hate them and yet deep deep down we know its necessary.
we all have our own strories which none is ought to be in for a competiton with others.
its useless to do so, cause its a waste of time.
which come to the point i very much like to make, that people like to judge others from far. but what we somehow always miss to look..is that we do not know the stories yet we act as we are know it all.
isnt that what Gossips Trend teach us to do?
such fakeness is glorified.
and yet the True Story however ugly it is never come out right.

so no matter how bad my problem is compared to the next person, i know we arent the same. i know my close friends who are there to support the stories i have in life, is there as an audience/reader to my stories.
and no matter how long my stories are..the word "THE END" will come.

The End means just that. They are stories. The past, the problem are history we repeat. In order to find answers or find some clue to our next one.

Cause truly in the End of the cycle of stories, what matters is getting up from our reading chair and open our eyes and mind for something NEW.
in other words -- LIVE.

Reading : Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

let's see (taken form Myspace blog)

6.10.07
3:17pm
had money but nothing interesting to buy.kinda suck.perhaps something good will come out of it soon.or simply,it reminded myself the necessary reason for preparing an umbrella.
anyway,i thought today,how much can a person have different life.it strikes me as something i wish i had the time to do.to have the time to learn astronomy,then later biology and perhaps literature at some point in my life.
cause so far,i had a life with different genres.so yes,i do think its possible.
definitely.
i must say,i underestimated the purpose of white space.
or the power of falling.
its kinda like the edge of a story..the turning point before the peak.
at this point,looking back..i must say its kinda unbelievable how i am now.
still own a way to refresh and to learn.
its a gift.
sure,there's always going to be gloom.
but so does bright.
however it appeared, its fair for both to exist.

Sunyi yang Lama (Long Silence)

yup..been on another side of life.
cruising with different motions and momentum.
This year is coming to an end soon right..4 bulan je lagi.
Anyway,to friends who read this space.tq.
Kt friends yang sering tertanya ke mana hilangnya saya.
Im ere in Malaysia this whole year.
Special coz dpt rasa tinggal kt negara sendiri once again and near family.
And i didnt miss any Tennis Grand Slams...
Australian,French,Wimbledon and now US OPEN in progress..best tu..dpt gak tgk Live!

Malaysia this year,especially kt Putrajaya ni,
so many happenings smpi naik pening.
not just KL is buzzing..Penang pun sama naik.Hehe..
But August is the month where hectic-ness is at tahap maksima.
Putrajaya yang tak pernah jammed..sesak!!!
All the way from MR2 -UPM - Putrajaya.Insane.
it took me one hour to get home somewhere frm P9,
when usually it takes less than 8 minutes drive.
Gara-gara Musical Fireworks International Competition,Floria la..
Mega Sale la,cool exhibitions and tra la la la..
plus this year's 50th Merdeka Celebration.

Malaysia-ku 50! 2morow! Hpy Birthday! (dh kibar Jalur Gemilang?) Tonight hectic-ness will strike again with Japan Fireworks Team perform at 10pm and later the Merdeka Countdown.

i want to add tht the meaning of "Merdeka" to me this year is
personally - being able to ride the crazy life..coz the discoveries are unlimited
and to have the honor of having golden age people arnd such as my grandma
and her stories about my passed grandpa.(an inspiration.)
generally - the people who struggle to be be better..coz thts wat makes a country better.

so yeah ive been missing out from cyberspace. For this time Tune Pick, I've been exposed to this Local addictive song from AMP/Channel V. Enjoy!

BAND : Hujan
TRACK : Pagi Yang Gelap

lebih tua dari ku harap sabar menunggu kepulangan mu ku tunggu bukan maksud ku mendiam tiada niat menyimpan dendam hakikat nya rindu yg mendalam jalan inikan membantu hari esok siapa yg tahu kata ibu dengar sahaja cerita hanya kita berdua pagi yg gelap kini sudah terang aku adik mu dan engkau abang ku amat merindui kan mu pagi yg gelap kini sudah terang aku adik mu dan engkau abang ingin ku ulang kemasa dulu tak akan putus hubungan kita tarik nafas lega kerna aku tak apa apa jalan inikan membantu hari esok siapa yg tahu kata ibu dengar sahaja cerita hanya kita berdua pagi yg gelap kini sudah terang aku adik mu dan engkau abang ku amat merindui kan mu pagi yg gelap kini sudah terang aku adik mu dan engkau abang ingin ku ulang kemasa dulu

CLICK!
http://www.myspace.com/kugiranhujan
More locals http://amp.channelv.com/kugiranhujan
to Malaysians : Itu Kamu by Estranged is a big hit on the radio.
but i jst found out tht their music is Incubus driven..heh.


miss u all,
love ~nysh~
p.s: ironic that today,whole day..HUJAN!?!?!
and i love rainy dayz....mmm...a cup of VICO anyone?hehe..

*all images and song are not my property

book lover

2.08.07
6:23pm
have a list of books to read,
just using my time with good stuff.
although i heard that ppl who read try to runaway from reality by burrying themselves into another world.
yeah..i think it is clearly what it does.
taking minds off to another plane.
and challenge mind to something far different.

the way i see it,reading just another way to think.
ha-ha.cant help it.
is my brain stuck coz of my boredom or is it my brain is too open to too much information at one time.

now im on my 3rd book..jst started 'The Memory Keeper's Daughter'.
and i have 2-3 books to buy by 5th aug.
the Mph Merdeka Sale for members.
might spend my money well while i can.
">

Reading : The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards