Presenting LadyHawke from NZ!

OMG! i didn't have a clue she was from NZ even lived in Wellington for some time.
this is truly a fantastic coincidence of "connection".
see, i told ya the "connection" always finds me. ^_^

i heard this song from a pv friend from australia.
Totally love the song My Delirium. been listening to it non stop since yesterday!
will be checking out her album when i get back from my weekend trip to Kuantan.

here it is!
Official Website : http://www.ladyhawkemusic.com/


~ pap pap parra

remembeR err err?

remember UBER? the site i was excited about few months ago?
huge bummer when it was shut down.

now I am a Tumblr.
born today.
excited with all the potentials.

check it out : http://nysheart.tumblr.com/

~ scribblings.

Love at first Preview

The Fray self titled album kidnapped my heart to a place I have been missing for a while.
It feels good to be with the melody and to be able to 'sing' again.
Last night, I went to Amazon.com and previewed their latest album.
It got me so excited, that I bought it today.

I LOVE IT! really do. instantly, it's in my fav album of all time list.
10 years from now, I will still love it.
The album, reads like a story book. The design is brilliant. It was all connected to the songs, lyrics & voice. I sit and read, and listen, all at the same time.
(haven't done this since high school!) .
Reached the end, there were tiny tears in my eyes.
Perhaps, I'm around that time.
Which is good, considering I need to refuel my passion with inspiration.

Looks like, the "connection" found it's way to me again.
I think no one understands what the heck I am saying but that's ok.
It's unseen for a reason.

Few days ago, while I was driving and stopped at a red light. There was a bird on top of a row of bushes. Parallel to my driver seat window, I observed it's behavior. The red/black bird struggled on its feet to drink the flowers. It looks painful, I thought. but maybe the bird feels nothing because I assumed the feet must be thick and hard that the bushes sharp branches couldn't have hurt it.
Then, the bird lost its balance, fell down into it and disappeared from my sight!
Then the light changed to green.
Continued driving, I thought.
No matter what ones first thought formed based on clear view and knowledge, people and life surprised us at our most sincere pure moment.
It shakes us. It made me feel that nothing is permanent.
It feels good to know that there are mysteries and more to be discovered.
To be able to, is actually one of Allah's gift.


~ grateful for the deeper sight.

Mode : Fresh

Kelly Clarkson : my life would suck without you

~ after all, restart, refresh, different.

never settle for 'just good'

when it could be worth much more.
i try to always keep that in mind in my everyday life decision making.
of course it's exhausting.
sometimes too much, to think and do.
always seem to derailed from being the best of me.
but i can rest when i'm dead.
life have so much more to give, while i am still here.

Enjoy 'I'm Not Over' by Carolina Liar.


~ packing for grandparents weekend.

thanks sis for 'forcing' me to listen to "David"

it happens sometimes.we unconsciously got cuts and wonder why.
i got one on my left index fingertip. ^_^ LOL.

i gotta say, David Archuleta's pop album is very good. his voice itself is amazing enough.lucky boy.
Here's one of my fav song from that album, "My Hands". Enjoy!


~ wondering when will Jojo make a new album.

everyday song - Not Tonight by Kristy Lee Cook

this is the ultimate song that never bore me. Always makes my day.
I just LURVVEEE singing it.
her other songs are pretty awesome.she just have that raspy voice that i adore.
Enjoy!


~ want New Hair like Now!

Alter Bridge - Watch Over You

a friend recalled this song to me.
i forgot how nice the song is. ( great 90s rock band. love them all. )
so here it is. :)



~ run, jump, sprint!

Headache

am tired of people who use the word "I" in everything they do.
please, you're not alone in this universe!
so Open Your Damn Eyes.
sheesh.

~ controlled selfishness.

I have decided..No Coke

until Peace & Democracy is fully imposed in Israel.
(an sms was given to me by a friend yesterday morning)
I read further. Google these : killercoke, ei:the case for boycotting Israel.

It's the state of mind of a community.
We tell ourselves, we can't change who we are, who they are, that some people will not change just because we told them to. We change when we want to.
If that so, in this case of a country, it is a dead end, right?
Revolution is a waste of time then huh.

Well, this got me thinking, of individuality & humanity.
It is not the same thing is it.
Humanity is embedded in us.
Individuality is created by us.

So I believe, people can change.That's the whole purpose of humanity.
We evolved. We don't get stuck in a rut forever.
We just got lost sometimes.

In Palestine, families got killed in the name of power.
Humans will fight back on injustice. Why question that?
When we know the tug and war of both opposite will go on,
because there is No Justice in War.
History teach us that.
This 'humanity' process of attack and fight is the middle phase.
The beginning phase is 'our mind'.
where we decided on choices.
The end phase MUST BE 'our mind' as well.
where we Must decide on choices as well.

The choices lies back to the 'humanity' in us.
Until what end,
does the Israeli willing to kill for power?
how long can the Palestine die to hold their land?

It seems, both are strong.
Though, the Israeli looks stronger because they are "Big".
And to kill the "Small" is pretty much an easy task.
Which tells me about their Individuality.
They chose to be a killer. A greedy type of killer.
What force in today's world made them become this 'barbaric'?
The responsible people of this war is by far the ugliest form of humans.
Humanity & Individuality, both destroyed.
So how to fix that kind of loss?

Forgiveness.
The good people of Israeli have to unite against their rotten breed and give back what's right to the people of Palestine.
The victims of Palestine, somehow someway have to take the high road too.
Blood for blood isn't going to work. Because let's face it, no other Muslim country wants to be in war. (yeah i know, we are selfish too) or is it because we found a better way to stand for our rights without bloodshed?
Or should every country in the world form a group of willing soldiers to Unite and take down the 'gone too far' Israeli once & for all?!
If succeeded, what then?Teach them a lesson?Punishment?
It's going to come back to their Humanity and Individuality.
Can we change who they are?

That's the question isn't it?
Let it be the hope and goal. Change your own world,Israeli.
I believe in Humanity even how tiny it is.
We can change.
Stop trying to control others when you can't even keep your soul.

and finally, I do not want to live in "Gotham City".

~ my heart prays for the victims of any war.

10000 or ...

or a million, it doesn't matter.
i have made peace.
picked up the brushes, terrified then excited, then in awe.
how did that came out?

Song for Today, 10000 Stones by Adrianne.

My days are filled with mistakes
Some that I didn't make
I carry them around
Some people don't feel a thing
Some kind of blissful dream
Wish I could live that now
oh I wish I could live that now

10,000 stones hanging
deep in my heart
no I don't know how they
don't tear me apart
how could I ever believe
10,000 stones would build
the best of me.

I've seen a lot in my life
I've seen two wrongs make a right
When everything was crashing
I know that you got your plans
You're always taking your stand
But I was only asking
No I was never asking for

who knows what you think of me now
knowing sooner or later
the truth would come out
but I don't want to look back
don't want to look back to

10,000 stones hanging deep in my heart
no I don't know how they don't tear me apart
how could I ever believe
10,000 stones would save the fool in me
10,000 stones would be a strange blessing
10,000 stones would build the best of me

~ today is going to be Brilliant. (everyday)

What do I do?

I can't let myself sleep.
One reason was the new idea I thought of on the drive way home.
That always happens. My ideas comes naturally while driving and about to sleep state.
Another reason, I'm kinda hungry but lazy to move and find anything.
So I am writing.

"What do I do?" oh boy, how can I ever answer that Q in short sentences.
My common answer would be - nothing, only at home.(which i use everytime)
"Only" at home sounds like nothing isn't it?
Well, I think that's what people think anyway.
Then again, I don't know what people think.
And people don't really know What I do.
But the real Q is, does everyone really wants to know?
Should I share it anyway to fill the empty spaces?
Or should I continue giving the same answer?

I never really care what people think about me.That's who I am.
But I care about the thoughts of who I care about.
Last month, I met up with an old friend.
In 2 years, that was the 1st time ever I told mostly everything what I do.
and it turns out? it was so much that after we pay our parking tickets, we still talk at the parking lot. haha.I guess, my sheltered answers have + and - outcome.

oh well, 2009 is here. I truly felt relieved! "A specific date" will never ever exist anymore.Yey!
To sum it up, 2007&2008 is the 'transition' phase.
While going through the process,

I read. A LOT. sometimes at cafes.
(my money mostly spent for books & i joined Shelfari Book community)
I write. Not as much as I read. (and yes including short stories & fictions)
I listen to people's stories because it's priceless and for me to draw inspiration to create one.
(maybe that's why strangers often ask me things)
I study on my own on photography, literature, art history, the business in photography, interior, design softwares and continue exposing myself with the art world community,galleries,sites & blogs. Learning from the experts. I go to the libraries sometimes.
I continue jotting down ideas in my sketch books.
I recently started to paint with watercolor.
I enjoy spending time in Polyvore & Deviantart.
I follow many TV Series.
I have wardrobe makeover about twice a year.
I always find new song to listen & share.
I do house chores Everyday (physical & emotional needs)
I take care of my sick brother (shower,food and accompany)
I lay down strict rules on certain things (like my sister's study schedule, my nephews sleeping curfew& breakfast, prayers)
I surveyed a lot of Universities and Courses, but still undecided.
I begun to have a dream to open an Art Gallery/art business.
I traveled to NZ and UK.
I have shares in family business.
I have a house. (err..i think so..lol)
I am a member of Glokal Koperasi.
I am a certified beauty&spa practitioner.
I sell Mary Kay cosmetics. (helping my mum)
I have many opportunities to work but it was never the right time.
I hang out with my friends. They kept me sane.
I jogged sometimes and badly want to play netball.
I love my new home area, Putrajaya, simply because it's very peaceful & that's rare. I like to open my window and sit with my feet outside and think.
I or my brother go to Ampang (our old house) every Saturday and picked up our house helper, buy nasi lemak Abg Ramli Sarip & burger ayam cheese.
I teach and draw with my nephews whenever they want to, like a teacher. (usually they ask me to draw things for them like Ben 10,Ultraman or Joker! lol)
I take them out too sometimes to KLCC Kinokunya and sit with them at the children book section until we're tired.
I take care of the family car.
I had a heel surgery.
I was an MC for the 1st time in my life at PWTC under a public event.
I buy CDs and Buffy the Vampire Slayers comics from the same seller from ebay everytime. :)
I have an autographed Andrew Belle's EP which he signed upon my request before sending it to me from the US. ^_^
...
all i can say is that, i have all these routines & events filling up my life.
i juggle everything. one thing for sure, my life was NEVER BORING.
i wake up, family then myself, others then i sleep.
So if people ask me what I do?
I answered, "only at home".
Because that is one big world in my book - the people in it needed me as much as i needed them.

2009 is going to be something new again.
despite everything i do, i want to do more.i will continue exploring my creative sides.
continue reading, studying,painting.
I LOVE MY LIFE. as simple as it seems or as complicated as reality bitings,
to know what I do?
i'm only at home.doing nothing much. :)

~ feels good to open up a bit.

Quiet Times opens 2009!

from Dido's new album Safe Trip Home.
Beautiful words and melody.
Though, the song was in Grey's Anatomy,
I love it when it is in Ghost Whisperer Season 4 Episode 9.
It's perfect for a morning song. :)
Like a morning like the one I'm having now.
The Quiet Times.
Truly love it.
Enjoy!

You ask me where I'd go tonight
I'd go back to today last year
We knew how to make each other happy
And there was hope of everything
It's hard enough to feel the world as it is
And hold on anything
Without these quiet times
You've bought round here

I'm gonna to have to run away
I'm sure that I belong some other place
I've seen another side of all I've seen
It keeps me wondering where my family is
It's hard enough to see the world as it is
And hold on anything
Without these quiet times
Coming round here

Now I miss you
And I want you
But I can't have you
Even when you're here

I suppose I have to take you with me broken mind
I'd rather leave you here
So forget everything you've seen and known
Erase every idea
If you walk up in the street
And hold my hand and smile
Well I won't be taken in
Cos I know how it turns out
And it takes me back
To these quiet times
Coming round here

Now I miss you
And I want you
You're not coming back
And I need you
But I can't have you
Even when you're here

Now I miss you
And I want you
You're not coming back
And I need you
But I can't have you
Even when you're here

~ Today, will be Good

Lost

was I?
maybe. it's a possibility.
What am I talking about?
the Past.
Sometimes, people who are a sensitive radar like me, tend to think about the Past more than I should.
For me, it's just about remembering the struggle I've had overcome, defining what I am Today and what I am capable to be Tomorrow.
Sometimes, I surprise myself.
So, No regrets.

Since all the TV shows actors are on holiday and all the program start next year.
So I've picked the show LOST.
I've never seen it.
So far, it's so good. I understand why people like it.
The survivals, struggles, hard decisions, the haunting past, the magical island that holds an unknown territory - all in extreme situation.
I think it's brilliant.
But I'm still on Season 1 episode 15.
And Evangeline Lily is gorgeous :)

Besides Lost,
I found this phrase from Polyvore and I think it's hilarious! LOL

Sparkle you fool, Sparkle! hahahaha..it's going to be a classic.

~ my way, all the way ~

Blank Month

December is ending.
No post at all huh?
I could write my philosophies according to what I learned, (which I did but decided not to post them).
So here it is. New post.

Dear coming Maal Hijrah and 2009,
Alhamdulillah for the possibility of loving the life given.
Even after the deep battle, I am still here.
And I wish to share my glorifying moment of thought.
From now until the end, my friends, I want to continue loving.
And keep what matters, matter.
Thank You for choosing to fit in my little world.
It's a blessing not to live alone.
(this also goes especially to the Deviantart Community, I heart you guys!)

"The measure of love is to love without measure" - author unknown. (anyone knows?)

dedicating 'YOU' by Take That from their new album The Circus.


~ one and only, with all my heart ~

Wild Horses

Me and my sis love this song from the movie FLICKA.
I think it is one of the most beautiful song I've ever heard. ^_^

Wild Horses by Natasha Bedingfield.

I feel these four walls closing in
My face up against the glass
I'm looking out... hmm
Is this my life I'm wondering
It happened so fast
How do I turn this thing around
Is this the bed I chose to make
Its greener pastures I'm thinking about hmm
Wide open spaces far away

All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but, not feel scared

[Chorus:]
Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing to
Run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses!
Oh yeah yea

I see the girl I wanna be
Riding bare back, care free along the shore
If only that someone was me
Jumping head first headlong without a thought
To act and damn the consequence
How I wish it could be that easy
But fear surrounds me like a fence
I wanna break free

All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but, not feel scared
Hoohhh woah woah

[Chorus:]
Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses!
Oh yeah yea

I wanna run too.
Hohhh woah oh woah oh
Breaklessly abandoning my self before you
I wanna open up my heart tell him how I feel

[Chorus:]
Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses! [X2]
Hooaah woah oh woah
Yeah

I wanna run with the wild horses

~ so many things left unsaid ~

Find a way to smile

I was sick yesterday.
Got treated well. My dad gave me his medicine, eaten McD Chicken Porridge and got a heart shaped strawberry cake from my mom.
Even my adorable nephew Irfan, made my day ^_^.
I'm ok now. Still got the flu though.

Yey!!! Congratz to DREW! for making his TV debut on 90210 with 'I'll Be Your Breeze' !!! n yes! I already own that EP with his signature!
Wonderful!

Here's a song from a Polyvore friend that cheered me up.
Enjoy! Pappa..para pappappa!

Artist : Pearl and the Puppets
Song : Because I Do



~ only you have the power to believe ~

Creative?

Is just a word now for me. It is not a definition anymore.
Basically, I'm letting the thinking of the thinking go.
Ironically, my subconscious mind aka inspiration will do the 'creative' thinking itself.
Forcing it to do that is a waste and I do know that, IF I cut off the thinking of the thinking.
So many thinking. I may loose my mind!!!
But I'm not. Cause I'm letting me be. I am born with this ability to do so.
So be it. Bluek!

Back to the Q i wrote few weeks ago. It's now in the orbit again.

Observation.
Sometimes i think we are like parasites. We feed on each other to get what we want. There's good and bad parasites. Then again, we are both really.
So perhaps, we exchange to balance each other?
It's when, we became greedy that we make the other weak and eventually some will die.
And the greedy parasites tag n war with each other.
Leaving the last winner ONE HUGE UGLY BLOATED BIG MESSY of a Parasite with millions of dead parasites! What's left to happen? It will EXPLODE! and die of course.

Now, isn't the balanced world is much better and that the fact that we won't be alone is a major cheery part?

So, If one more person ask me to BE SELFISH even a bit as a solution? I'll just IGNORE!
Why do you think that I have this ability and power in the 1st place?

I'll be where I be. I am what I am.

p.s : I want to open an Art Gallery!

~ looking up, feet on grass ~

Chilling Day with LENKA

She's adorable.weird.imperfect.wonderful. ^_^ Like me! hehehe...

Initially, my day started with plans. But this week cycle ain't over yet.
So, I am chilling with Lenka while at the same time deals with the world inside my home that spinned in every direction. waarrgghhh! phewww!

See....I am breeze walking through all of it! Seriously!!! ladadadadadadada...

LENKA album is a Breeze.

My fav tracks :
Trouble is A Friend, Knock Knock, Live Like You're Dying, Don't Let Me Fall.

Knock Knock by Lenka.

She's from Sydney though now live in LA. ;)

p.s : i added POLYVORE's badge below my DA favs! check it xx

~ give me a break, a little escape ~

Need A Jar

Had 2 shitty days. The problem is I badly want to tell someone but I can't.
I'm starting to think this is some kind of disease? or a malfunction. meh.
But like always, it passed away. Like any problems in the world.
Anyway, my thoughts that came out from the recent 'moment' is this.

I need A Jar. Best it to be Magical because it has to fit pretty big black stuff in it.
See, i also made a theory why the Ocean is made of 70% in Earth.
It's because it needs to clean up ALL the jars in the world.
Like the circle of life,
we take and give, we absorb and exhale. In and out.
Black and white.
The jar is where the blackness needs to be put in.
And knowing that the Ocean will never shrink is a Breeze.

Erin McCarley with Pony.

You hold your head up to the sky
You say what kind of blue
are you? Are you?
Then you ride your pony round and round
It’s diggin’ a hole, right through, right through

You stumble down a yellow brick road,
Spinning your shoes in the air, the air.
Then you, hold your breath, and count to nine,
Hoping that soon somebody will find you, find you,

Go on, go on, go on, the stars are watching,
Just say, just say, just say, what you’re feeling,
You know, you know, you know, you gotta take a bow and do it your way,
It’s okay, ladadadadadadadada, it’s okay, ladadadadadadadada

You’re 15 miles over the speed,
You’re going fast as you can after your daydream Ohh
I might get sad, carried away
Or have a serious talk with your, champaign.

It’s time for you to prove,
Within your ruby shoes
You deserve a smile with no regret,
Look at you
Kicking off your shoes,
Dancing for the world to see,
You got the power to believe,
Open up and see,
And go be free and fly away

~ closer to the Jar ~